1
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Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com

2
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<i>'Til Death is filmed</i>

3
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<i>in front of a live
studio audience.</i>

4
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My mother has been
cleaning out the basement

5
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and she keeps sending
me all my old stuff.

6
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Oh, my God!

7
00:00:22,614 --> 00:00:25,252
It's my prom dress.

8
00:00:25,319 --> 00:00:27,993
Smells like rum.

9
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Should I try it on?

10
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:31,972
On what?

11
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On my body.

12
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Your whole body?

13
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What are you saying?

14
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You don't think that
I can fit into this anymore?

15
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Honey, no.
I'm just saying that it...

16
00:00:41,197 --> 00:00:43,400
I love you so much.

17
00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:45,705
You don't think that I can
squeeze into this dress, do you?

18
00:00:45,772 --> 00:00:47,909
No, look. If it doesn't fit,
you're gonna take it out on me.

19
00:00:47,976 --> 00:00:51,581
And if it does fit...
It's not gonna fit.

20
00:00:51,648 --> 00:00:53,718
I'm gonna try it on right now.

21
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,655
Honey, look. I don't think
putting on a dress

22
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Should involve so much
cursing and grunting.

23
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:04,261
Sounds like you're making
a balloon animal in there.

24
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Captioning made possible by
sony pictures television

25
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,205
Is it zipped?

26
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:17,042
You damn right it's zipped.

27
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:23,983
You look amazing.

28
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:27,287
Tell me something
I don't know, stretch.

29
00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:31,926
Oh, dear God,
please unzip me.

30
00:01:34,396 --> 00:01:35,896
Ok.

31
00:01:37,799 --> 00:01:40,068
The brain really does
need oxygen.

32
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Got it?

33
00:01:43,505 --> 00:01:44,505
Yeah. Ok.

34
00:01:44,573 --> 00:01:45,607
All right.

35
00:01:47,509 --> 00:01:49,110
Well.

36
00:01:49,178 --> 00:01:50,778
So.

37
00:01:50,846 --> 00:01:53,748
How you enjoying
the prom?

38
00:01:53,816 --> 00:01:59,520
Um, it's all right.

39
00:01:59,588 --> 00:02:02,490
Where's your date?

40
00:02:02,558 --> 00:02:05,660
Um, I don't know. Maybe he's
upstairs spiking the punch.

41
00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:07,028
Where's yours?

42
00:02:07,095 --> 00:02:09,430
I don't have a date.

43
00:02:09,498 --> 00:02:12,133
I'm parking cars.

44
00:02:14,036 --> 00:02:17,405
Ah, working man. I like it.

45
00:02:17,472 --> 00:02:19,740
Yeah, I do all right.

46
00:02:19,808 --> 00:02:23,744
I make tips.
Stchange and whatnot.

47
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:29,449
So, a couple of kids left a
bottle of champagne in the limo.

48
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,753
Wanna head on out there?

49
00:02:32,821 --> 00:02:35,589
Why don't we stay right here?

50
00:02:35,657 --> 00:02:38,792
Oh. What if your
boyfriend comes back?

51
00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:41,428
Oh, I think you can handle him.

52
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:45,231
You look fairly strong.

53
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:46,900
Oh, I am strong.

54
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,469
And...and mysterious.

55
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:54,407
And misunderstood.

56
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,209
Sounds like my type.

57
00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:58,844
My parents would hate you.

58
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Why? 'cause I'm jewish?

59
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No, 'cause you're a bad boy.

60
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Right, right,
right. Yeah.

61
00:03:06,285 --> 00:03:08,987
Yeah, I'm a bad boy.

62
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:13,691
But I'm pretty into you,
hot high school chick.

63
00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:16,761
Yeah? Well,
I'm pretty into you,

64
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Tall, weird, horny,
parking attendant guy.

65
00:03:34,145 --> 00:03:35,345
Yeah.

66
00:03:36,313 --> 00:03:37,881
That was kinda...

67
00:03:37,948 --> 00:03:39,248
Better.

68
00:03:45,856 --> 00:03:46,922
Morning.

69
00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:48,424
Hey, honey.

70
00:03:48,492 --> 00:03:50,326
I gotta run.
I have an early morning meeting.

71
00:03:50,393 --> 00:03:55,330
No...no...but I was making you a "thanks
for putting out on prom night" frittata.

72
00:03:55,398 --> 00:03:57,032
I gotta go.
Ok.

73
00:03:57,099 --> 00:03:58,333
Love you.

74
00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:59,534
Love you.

75
00:04:02,070 --> 00:04:03,638
Hey, Kenny!

76
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,140
What's up, Eddie?

77
00:04:06,207 --> 00:04:08,876
Hey, kenny. How's the gig
at the copy place going?

78
00:04:08,943 --> 00:04:11,377
Ah, pretty good. Pretty
good. Pretty good.

79
00:04:11,445 --> 00:04:13,312
I started out just standing
around making copies.

80
00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:14,546
Then I got promoted
to manager.

81
00:04:14,614 --> 00:04:18,049
Now, I'm standing around
making copies in this vest.

82
00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:19,817
Why does it say "Andy"?

83
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:22,485
Well, it was either
that or Louise.

84
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:27,889
Well, Andy, it's nice to see you have
a smooth operation going on there.

85
00:04:27,957 --> 00:04:30,891
A customer came in today with
something pretty interesting.

86
00:04:30,959 --> 00:04:32,959
Check it out.

87
00:04:33,027 --> 00:04:36,862
Wait...wait. Are you allowed to keep
copies of people's personal documents?

88
00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:38,597
It's a gray area.

89
00:04:38,665 --> 00:04:41,465
"Lost poodle...
1,000 dollars reward."

90
00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:44,735
Then, on the way here, I noticed
these were here. Look at this.

91
00:04:44,802 --> 00:04:46,970
"Lost cat." "Lost parakeet."

92
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,738
I'm a little nervous
about this one right here.

93
00:04:49,806 --> 00:04:52,640
It looks like a cheetah.

94
00:04:52,708 --> 00:04:54,742
I'm telling ya, man.
I love the suburbs.

95
00:04:54,809 --> 00:04:57,614
People are just
nailing cash to trees.

96
00:04:57,682 --> 00:04:58,885
We lost my cousin rodney
one time.

97
00:04:58,953 --> 00:05:00,254
For like a week and a half.

98
00:05:00,322 --> 00:05:03,623
Some lady found him.
I think we gave her an apple.

99
00:05:03,691 --> 00:05:06,092
So, what are you saying? You
gonna go hunting for lost pets?

100
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,528
Exactly. I know animals.
I know how they think.

101
00:05:08,595 --> 00:05:09,595
I know how to talk to them.

102
00:05:09,663 --> 00:05:10,863
Can you hear this right here?

103
00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:12,230
Look.

104
00:05:14,267 --> 00:05:15,300
No.

105
00:05:15,367 --> 00:05:18,369
But this great dane
named alfred can.

106
00:05:18,437 --> 00:05:19,503
You gonna eat
the rest of those eggs?

107
00:05:19,571 --> 00:05:24,007
Wh...I made it for me
and...uh...help yourself.

108
00:05:25,609 --> 00:05:26,809
Everything ok?

109
00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:30,178
Yeah. I gotta tell you.
Last night was the...

110
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,546
Never mind.

111
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What?

112
00:05:33,081 --> 00:05:36,617
No, nothing.
It's just between me and Joy.

113
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All right, man. Cool.

114
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It's our sex life.

115
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I mean, last night we had the
most creative lovemaking ever.

116
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And it wasn't even the 31st.

117
00:05:45,425 --> 00:05:46,658
I don't know
what that means?

118
00:05:46,726 --> 00:05:48,493
Well, you see every month
if we don't have sex,

119
00:05:48,561 --> 00:05:51,329
Then we're obligated to have it
on the last day of the month.

120
00:05:51,397 --> 00:05:54,331
You only sleep with your
woman 12 times a year?!

121
00:05:54,399 --> 00:05:57,968
At a minimum.
It's...it's a baseline.

122
00:05:58,035 --> 00:06:00,837
It's a sexual safety net,
if you will.

123
00:06:02,339 --> 00:06:04,339
And we did
a little roll playing.

124
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:06,241
Oh, really.
Yeah. You ever do that?

125
00:06:06,309 --> 00:06:09,477
Oh, yeah. I very rarely
have sex as myself.

126
00:06:11,046 --> 00:06:12,346
And I have to tell you,
I want to do it again,

127
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,015
But I'm a little nervous
about asking Joy.

128
00:06:15,082 --> 00:06:16,950
You know, I don't want to hurt
her feelings by saying,

129
00:06:17,017 --> 00:06:19,619
I'd rather have sex with
some fantasy than with her.

130
00:06:19,686 --> 00:06:24,022
But honestly, I'd rather have sex
with some fantasy than with her.

131
00:06:24,857 --> 00:06:26,257
That's perfectly natural.

132
00:06:26,325 --> 00:06:27,592
Go for it.

133
00:06:27,660 --> 00:06:28,659
Yeah?

134
00:06:28,727 --> 00:06:30,294
Are you sure?
Yeah.

135
00:06:30,362 --> 00:06:34,631
I mean, is she gonna be happy
constantly pretending I'm someone else?

136
00:06:34,699 --> 00:06:37,133
Yeah. I think she'll manage.

137
00:06:38,969 --> 00:06:40,570
Look, my opinion is this.

138
00:06:40,637 --> 00:06:43,272
You ride this horse until
it bucks you off, man.

139
00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:45,373
But if you're still worried
about it, here's what you do.

140
00:06:45,441 --> 00:06:48,209
Tonight you come in dressed in
something that could be roll playing.

141
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:51,011
If she says she's not into
it, you explain it away.

142
00:06:51,079 --> 00:06:56,449
Ok. How do I explain away a
scuba mask and a starter's pistol?

143
00:06:57,451 --> 00:07:00,052
What kinda twisted
fantasy is that?

144
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,521
It's not. I'm just thinking
about what I have in my garage.

145
00:07:19,057 --> 00:07:20,190
Hey, honey!

146
00:07:20,258 --> 00:07:21,758
I'm home.

147
00:07:43,111 --> 00:07:45,612
Thanks for helping me
find this dog, man.

148
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,381
I'm not here to help you. I
think this is a ridiculous idea.

149
00:07:48,449 --> 00:07:50,083
I'm here to protect you.

150
00:07:50,151 --> 00:07:52,552
Protect me? From what?

151
00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:54,588
I don't know. You running
through this neighborhood

152
00:07:54,655 --> 00:07:56,890
With a choke collar
and a large burlap sack,

153
00:07:56,958 --> 00:07:59,793
It may just send up a red
flag to some of these folks.

154
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:03,062
Why you doing this anyway?
You already got a job.

155
00:08:03,130 --> 00:08:05,798
Eddie, I can't work
in a copy shop forever.

156
00:08:05,866 --> 00:08:08,902
You started on Tuesday.

157
00:08:08,969 --> 00:08:10,803
So, how's it going
with you and Joy

158
00:08:10,871 --> 00:08:13,139
And your freaky-deaky
bedroom antics?

159
00:08:13,207 --> 00:08:16,075
I gotta tell you, it is...
You know what, Kenny?

160
00:08:16,143 --> 00:08:17,877
It's none of your business.

161
00:08:17,945 --> 00:08:18,878
Ok.

162
00:08:18,946 --> 00:08:20,580
All right, I'll tell ya.

163
00:08:20,648 --> 00:08:25,585
It's been about week now, and we
have the most amazing sex life.

164
00:08:25,653 --> 00:08:28,821
I mean, not us.
Our characters do.

165
00:08:28,889 --> 00:08:30,156
Sounds cool to me, man.

166
00:08:30,224 --> 00:08:31,724
No, don't you see.
It's not cool.

167
00:08:31,792 --> 00:08:33,893
Because we've come
to depend on it.

168
00:08:33,961 --> 00:08:35,895
We can't go back
to the way we were.

169
00:08:35,963 --> 00:08:38,431
Where does it end, man?
Where does it end?

170
00:08:38,499 --> 00:08:41,000
Where does it end? It ends
where all sexual adventures end?

171
00:08:41,068 --> 00:08:42,468
Thailand.

172
00:08:42,536 --> 00:08:44,637
Puppy alert!
Puppy alert!

173
00:08:44,705 --> 00:08:46,439
Stop the car!

174
00:08:46,506 --> 00:08:47,673
It's the middle
of the street.

175
00:08:47,741 --> 00:08:49,108
Hold that. Hold that.

176
00:08:49,176 --> 00:08:50,943
There's people...

177
00:08:55,381 --> 00:08:57,115
Kenny! Kenny!

178
00:09:02,356 --> 00:09:03,456
What the hell was that?

179
00:09:03,523 --> 00:09:04,957
That may have been the cheetah.

180
00:09:08,962 --> 00:09:13,798
So, I guess we should
go up to bed now, huh?

181
00:09:14,699 --> 00:09:16,799
Yep.

182
00:09:16,867 --> 00:09:20,101
I got the costumes in the car.

183
00:09:20,169 --> 00:09:21,703
Your message was a little fuzzy.

184
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,439
I couldn't tell if you were
saying umpire or vampire.

185
00:09:24,507 --> 00:09:27,341
So, I...so I got both.

186
00:09:28,676 --> 00:09:30,743
Yeah, on that...

187
00:09:30,811 --> 00:09:33,646
You know, I...

188
00:09:33,713 --> 00:09:36,782
Do you think the costumes
are losing their kick?

189
00:09:36,852 --> 00:09:38,486
Yes. Thank you.

190
00:09:38,554 --> 00:09:40,321
I am so glad you said something.

191
00:09:40,388 --> 00:09:41,588
Me too. Me too.

192
00:09:41,656 --> 00:09:43,490
I'm just glad we're
on the same page.

193
00:09:43,558 --> 00:09:44,824
Yes. Of course.

194
00:09:44,892 --> 00:09:48,793
So...so what do we do? Should
we go back being ourselves?

195
00:09:48,861 --> 00:09:50,261
Oh, God no!

196
00:09:52,830 --> 00:09:53,763
No?

197
00:09:53,830 --> 00:09:55,830
No. No way. Don't ever
say that again.

198
00:09:55,898 --> 00:09:58,198
You shut your face.

199
00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:04,136
Well, what should we do?

200
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:07,506
What do you say
we take it up a notch?

201
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:12,808
Well...look if you're talking
about your friend lori, I'm open.

202
00:10:17,213 --> 00:10:18,379
No.
No!

203
00:10:18,447 --> 00:10:21,014
No. Hello, I'm kidding.

204
00:10:21,082 --> 00:10:23,950
No, it's not...no.

205
00:10:24,018 --> 00:10:25,952
No, I'm just saying,

206
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:30,255
You know, stay with the
role-playing fantasy thing.

207
00:10:30,322 --> 00:10:33,424
But perhaps we should take
it out of the house.

208
00:10:33,492 --> 00:10:36,359
And to lori's place.

209
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,527
No. No.

210
00:10:38,595 --> 00:10:40,562
Come on. Do you know me?

211
00:10:40,630 --> 00:10:42,197
Stop with that. Ok?

212
00:10:42,264 --> 00:10:45,367
No. My friend told me
that she and her husband

213
00:10:45,434 --> 00:10:49,770
They went to a bar and they
pretended not to know each other.

214
00:10:49,837 --> 00:10:52,804
And he picked her up.
And it sounded kinda hot.

215
00:10:52,872 --> 00:10:54,172
What do you think?

216
00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:56,240
Ok. So we go somewhere.

217
00:10:56,308 --> 00:10:58,042
And we act like we don't even
know each other.

218
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,878
This is good.
We will... Tomorrow night,

219
00:11:01,945 --> 00:11:04,813
We will meet
at the uptown hotel.

220
00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:06,748
At the bar.

221
00:11:06,815 --> 00:11:09,317
And I'll be wearing
a purple carnation.

222
00:11:09,384 --> 00:11:11,985
I know what you look like.

223
00:11:16,936 --> 00:11:18,836
Eddie was right.

224
00:11:18,903 --> 00:11:20,604
What was I thinking?

225
00:11:35,118 --> 00:11:37,252
Hey, Mr. Bumpers!

226
00:11:38,921 --> 00:11:41,689
Show me that
1,000 dollars smile.

227
00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:11,151
Hi.

228
00:12:11,219 --> 00:12:12,719
Hi.

229
00:12:15,393 --> 00:12:17,994
Come here often?

230
00:12:18,062 --> 00:12:19,696
Really?

231
00:12:20,898 --> 00:12:21,931
Sorry.

232
00:12:21,999 --> 00:12:24,933
I'm gonna take another
run at it.

233
00:12:47,519 --> 00:12:48,952
Good evening.

234
00:12:50,954 --> 00:12:52,955
I'm a traveling businessman,

235
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:56,725
Who came to your town

236
00:12:56,793 --> 00:12:59,327
To buy a large company.

237
00:13:01,063 --> 00:13:04,965
My work is financially
rewarding.

238
00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:07,934
But alas emotionally empty.

239
00:13:10,204 --> 00:13:11,904
May I join you?

240
00:13:11,972 --> 00:13:13,639
I don't think so.

241
00:13:13,707 --> 00:13:15,341
All right.

242
00:13:18,078 --> 00:13:20,912
Waiting for some friends.

243
00:13:20,980 --> 00:13:22,781
Playing hard to get,
are you?

244
00:13:22,848 --> 00:13:25,783
Oh, I'm not playing
anything mr...

245
00:13:25,851 --> 00:13:27,685
Fujimoto.

246
00:13:32,023 --> 00:13:33,990
Tony Fujimoto.

247
00:13:34,057 --> 00:13:35,391
Tony.

248
00:13:35,458 --> 00:13:37,825
Wow. That's quite a name.

249
00:13:37,893 --> 00:13:39,260
Quite a man.

250
00:13:39,327 --> 00:13:41,495
Quite a man.

251
00:13:43,734 --> 00:13:45,434
Can I buy you a drink?

252
00:13:45,502 --> 00:13:48,803
Well, I think I'm all right
for now. Thank you.

253
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,672
I'll take that drink.

254
00:13:55,275 --> 00:13:57,209
Well, well, well.

255
00:13:57,277 --> 00:13:59,977
The fish are biting tonight.

256
00:14:07,851 --> 00:14:09,718
Tony Fujimoto.

257
00:14:09,786 --> 00:14:13,255
My friends call me to-fu.

258
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:18,059
Bartender, another round
for the lady, please.

259
00:14:19,594 --> 00:14:21,061
I'm a traveling businessman.

260
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,428
I have come to your town

261
00:14:22,496 --> 00:14:25,230
To purchase a large company.

262
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:28,132
Thanks. Larry, wait up!

263
00:14:30,702 --> 00:14:32,235
So, Ryan was it?

264
00:14:32,303 --> 00:14:33,469
Yeah.

265
00:14:33,537 --> 00:14:36,204
How many years did you
play professional hockey?

266
00:14:36,272 --> 00:14:38,706
3 seasons
until I blew out my knee.

267
00:14:38,774 --> 00:14:41,041
Did you ever
get into fights?

268
00:14:41,109 --> 00:14:43,909
Well, you try not to.
But it's inevitable.

269
00:14:43,977 --> 00:14:45,645
I tell ya.
There's no better feeling

270
00:14:45,712 --> 00:14:48,481
Than pounding someone against
the boards for 60 minutes.

271
00:14:49,482 --> 00:14:50,949
Do go on.

272
00:14:51,017 --> 00:14:54,987
You know, being a D.A. isn't that
much different than playing hockey.

273
00:14:55,055 --> 00:14:56,856
It's the same aggressive
atmosphere,

274
00:14:56,924 --> 00:15:00,091
And I've been known to throw
a couple of elbows

275
00:15:00,158 --> 00:15:01,492
What are you drinking?

276
00:15:01,559 --> 00:15:03,793
Um, hello!

277
00:15:06,396 --> 00:15:07,729
Can I help you?

278
00:15:07,797 --> 00:15:11,266
Yeah, I was just gonna
talk to the lady.

279
00:15:11,333 --> 00:15:13,334
Oh, well, I'm kinda talking
to the lady now.

280
00:15:13,402 --> 00:15:15,102
So why don't you move along.

281
00:15:17,505 --> 00:15:21,275
Maybe the lady wants
you to move along.

282
00:15:21,342 --> 00:15:22,709
Joy?

283
00:15:22,777 --> 00:15:24,277
No, I'm good.

284
00:15:26,913 --> 00:15:29,148
I'm sorry. Do you
two know each other?

285
00:15:29,215 --> 00:15:31,450
Yeah, this is Tony.

286
00:15:31,517 --> 00:15:34,385
Tony Fujimoto.

287
00:15:35,687 --> 00:15:40,390
President and C.E.O.
of the Fujimoto Group.

288
00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:43,559
Are you two together?

289
00:15:43,627 --> 00:15:45,227
No. No. No.

290
00:15:45,295 --> 00:15:49,064
Funny, I actually used to be married
to a guy that looked a lot like him.

291
00:15:49,132 --> 00:15:51,600
But sadly he died in a fire.

292
00:15:54,803 --> 00:15:57,404
And I used to be married
to a girl like her

293
00:15:57,472 --> 00:16:00,440
Until wine and cookie
dough did her in.

294
00:16:02,610 --> 00:16:05,978
Listen, Joy, I would love to
take you out to dinner sometime.

295
00:16:06,046 --> 00:16:08,580
Can I get your phone number?

296
00:16:16,621 --> 00:16:19,990
Oh, my God! Mr. Bumpers.
Hey, everyone. He's back!

297
00:16:20,058 --> 00:16:21,458
Thank you so much.

298
00:16:21,526 --> 00:16:23,059
Oh, no biggie!
Happy to help.

299
00:16:23,127 --> 00:16:25,161
I knew he'd come back.
I just knew it.

300
00:16:25,229 --> 00:16:26,829
Oh, Timmy can you believe it?

301
00:16:26,897 --> 00:16:29,465
Thank you mister.
Thank you so much.

302
00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:31,968
Oh, you're welcome,
slugger.

303
00:16:32,035 --> 00:16:33,536
He's adorable.

304
00:16:33,603 --> 00:16:36,438
Well, again, we're just so happy
to have him back.

305
00:16:36,505 --> 00:16:38,272
And I'm happy
to bring him back.

306
00:16:39,274 --> 00:16:41,442
Can I hug him?

307
00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:43,911
Absolutely.

308
00:16:43,979 --> 00:16:45,780
Give it there, Timmy.
Give it there.

309
00:16:45,847 --> 00:16:48,182
Yeah. All right. Ok.
All right.

310
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:53,419
Is there anything else
we can do for you?

311
00:16:53,487 --> 00:16:56,655
Well, let's just take a
quick look at the contract...

312
00:16:56,723 --> 00:16:59,124
I mean flyer.

313
00:16:59,191 --> 00:17:01,459
Ok. Let's see here.

314
00:17:01,527 --> 00:17:05,363
We've taken care of
the lost poodle part.

315
00:17:05,430 --> 00:17:08,132
That's all done.

316
00:17:09,434 --> 00:17:11,968
So, all we gotta do
is take care of...

317
00:17:12,035 --> 00:17:14,836
Oh! This part right re.

318
00:17:15,671 --> 00:17:17,972
Oh, the reward.

319
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:21,309
You put 1,000 dollars down?!

320
00:17:21,376 --> 00:17:23,644
Is that what it was,
1,000?

321
00:17:25,313 --> 00:17:26,713
Can't put a price
on love.

322
00:17:26,781 --> 00:17:28,981
But, you did.

323
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,083
What are wgonna do?

324
00:17:37,755 --> 00:17:40,690
I can't believe you gave him
your phone number.

325
00:17:40,757 --> 00:17:43,726
It was a fake number.

326
00:17:43,794 --> 00:17:45,995
But it was a number.

327
00:17:46,063 --> 00:17:49,499
It was our dentist's number.

328
00:17:49,566 --> 00:17:51,934
Oh, so how do you know
his number by heart, huh?

329
00:17:52,002 --> 00:17:53,602
Are you in to him, too?

330
00:17:53,670 --> 00:17:55,904
Are you doing something
on the side with dr. Sieglman?

331
00:17:55,971 --> 00:17:59,173
Ok. You started it by offering
that other girl a drink.

332
00:17:59,241 --> 00:18:01,375
That's because
you turned me down.

333
00:18:01,443 --> 00:18:02,943
I wanted you to work for it.

334
00:18:03,011 --> 00:18:06,079
I wasn't coming there to work.
I came there to get some.

335
00:18:08,149 --> 00:18:10,716
Yeah. And you're gonna. 'cause this
whole thing kinda worked for me.

336
00:18:10,784 --> 00:18:12,051
So let's go upstairs.

337
00:18:12,118 --> 00:18:13,953
No. No. No. I'm not going
upstairs with you.

338
00:18:14,021 --> 00:18:15,054
Why not?

339
00:18:15,122 --> 00:18:18,423
Because you'll
just be thinking about ryan.

340
00:18:18,491 --> 00:18:22,460
So? Isn't that what we both
have been doing this whole time?

341
00:18:22,527 --> 00:18:26,963
No. It is not. We have been
pretending to be fictional charac.

342
00:18:27,031 --> 00:18:30,164
Like vampires
and catholic school girls

343
00:18:30,232 --> 00:18:33,033
And fast food mascots.

344
00:18:34,835 --> 00:18:36,301
That was a good one.

345
00:18:36,369 --> 00:18:39,570
Ryan is out there.
And he is real.

346
00:18:39,637 --> 00:18:42,438
And he has
our dentist's number.

347
00:18:43,673 --> 00:18:46,442
I'm never gonna see
ryan again.

348
00:18:46,510 --> 00:18:48,511
Ok. You know what?
That's not the point, Joy.

349
00:18:48,578 --> 00:18:50,079
That's not the point.

350
00:18:51,581 --> 00:18:54,350
It's just that if we
were really at that bar

351
00:18:54,418 --> 00:18:58,587
And we were total strangers
and you met me and ryan,

352
00:18:58,654 --> 00:19:00,755
I never would have had a shot.

353
00:19:00,823 --> 00:19:04,024
No, I mean. Come on, you don't
think I dated guys like ryan?

354
00:19:04,091 --> 00:19:05,758
They're a dime a dozen.

355
00:19:05,826 --> 00:19:11,096
I chose you because of all
the things I love about you.

356
00:19:11,164 --> 00:19:12,730
Like what?

357
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:19,535
Don't make me say it
you know.

358
00:19:23,406 --> 00:19:24,705
I may.

359
00:19:24,773 --> 00:19:27,140
It's always nice to hear it.

360
00:19:28,675 --> 00:19:29,608
Ok.

361
00:19:29,676 --> 00:19:32,077
You're sweet.

362
00:19:32,144 --> 00:19:33,812
And you're funny.

363
00:19:33,879 --> 00:19:35,647
And cute?

364
00:19:35,715 --> 00:19:37,249
You're very cute.

365
00:19:39,852 --> 00:19:42,220
Hey, I got an idea.

366
00:19:42,287 --> 00:19:46,690
Why don't we just
be ourselves tonight.

367
00:19:46,758 --> 00:19:48,425
I will be a travel agent.

368
00:19:48,493 --> 00:19:52,360
And you will be a high
school history teacher.

369
00:19:52,428 --> 00:19:53,962
Oh, yeah?

370
00:19:54,029 --> 00:19:55,629
Oh yeah!

371
00:19:55,697 --> 00:19:56,663
Does that do it for you?

372
00:19:56,731 --> 00:19:58,097
Oh, yeah sure does.

373
00:19:58,165 --> 00:20:00,967
Well, I don't mean to brag.

374
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:04,637
But I pull down
a low 5-figure salary

375
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:10,342
With a mandatory
1.5% increase every 7 years.

376
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:17,114
Well, I drive a taurus
with 120,000 miles on it.

377
00:20:19,617 --> 00:20:23,652
I ate a sandwich yesterday
that I found on a table.

378
00:20:31,792 --> 00:20:35,061
I haven't read a book
in 12 years.

379
00:20:37,331 --> 00:20:39,731
I forgot how to divide.

380
00:20:40,933 --> 00:20:45,102
Want to go upstairs and have
really ordinary sex?

381
00:20:45,169 --> 00:20:46,269
Yes.

382
00:20:46,337 --> 00:20:50,107
Prepare to be underwhelmed.

383
00:20:52,744 --> 00:20:58,182
996, 997, 998.

384
00:21:03,254 --> 00:21:06,356
I think there's a few more
dollin here, daddy.

385
00:21:14,630 --> 00:21:18,566
5, 6, 7, 8...

386
00:21:18,634 --> 00:21:21,868
That's it. That's it!
I quit! That's it!

387
00:21:21,936 --> 00:21:23,570
Enough! I can't take it anymore.

388
00:21:23,638 --> 00:21:26,439
Keep your money
and keep your dog.

389
00:21:26,506 --> 00:21:30,240
Why do you people have
to be so damn adorable?!

390
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:39,000
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391
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